Putting pants on a caveman

Cave-boy contemplates his evolution, August 2010

Most of us are hard-wired not to change. To desire personal growth is to admit weakness."I could do with a bit of improving, maybe I'll read a self-help book." To admit a weakness goes against natural selection:

• He's not showing much confidence; must be something wrong with him. I think I'll pick that other guy, his teeth are whiter and his mating dance is way more Travolta.
• Or that girl seems weak. Those boots are so 2008. Let's ditch her, she's just going to slow us down and bum us out (do people still say, "bummed out?").

I'm still on the inferiority-complex theme. Thanks for the back-pats friends, I do think I'm an OK person with certain skills, but I'm struggling with this idea that I should be trying to do (i.e., be) better. I want to say, "I'm awesome; this is enough." And mean it. I've got a list 20 miles long of all the things I'd like to achieve or acquire. The problem is that I'm a caveman and I have to wear pants. I either have to stop wearing pants (might get in trouble for that one) or shave off that metaphorical back hair and become a proper 21st century human. I'm talking about evolving here.

Wouldn't it be nice to check out for a few months? Wander the wilderness alone until the answers come? I supposed that's why I meditate. 40 days and 40 nights 15 minutes at a time.

Meanwhile life goes on! I've got snow to shovel, supper to cook, and boys to pay attention to. I think my lovely wife is around here somewhere too.

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