So together we sit and try not to try too hard. Let's see what happens next.
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| Self-portrait with crazy straw, February 2013 |
Monday, February 18, 2013
All the meditation is driving me crazy
My meditation has taken a turn for the worse. I was hoping for theta-wave bliss, understanding, and maybe some self-control, but it turns out my daily zazen is fraught with visits from devils. Anger. Confusion. Doubt. Fear. All have become my sitting partners. I welcome them most to the time and occasionally I see that they are my old friends. We've been through a lot together.
So together we sit and try not to try too hard. Let's see what happens next.
So together we sit and try not to try too hard. Let's see what happens next.
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4 comments:
i think its true that by facing your weaknesses you can get to know them better and even overcome them
Not overcome. Not possible. Embrace. That's the way.
You might already receive Pema Chodron updates, but this one arrived a few days ago...
Hope and fear is a feeling with two sides. As long as there’s one, there’s always the other. This is the root of our pain. In the world of hope and fear, we always have to change the channel, change the temperature, change the music, because something is getting uneasy, something is getting restless, something is beginning to hurt, and we keep looking for alternatives.
In a nontheistic state of mind, abandoning hope is an affirmation, the beginning of the beginning. You could even put “Abandon hope” on your refrigerator door instead of more conventional aspirations like “Every day in every way I’m getting better and better.”
Thanks for this. Pema was one of the first Buddhist books I read. I like her voice. In fact I think I prefer the female POV in general. All my best teachers have been women. Hmmm, time for some psychoanalysis, perhaps.
Abandon hope. Tough to process that is. I wonder what it means. Abandon hope means abandon fear right? I'll have to think on that one.
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